20 March 2026, 22:58 (IST)

Ladies and gentlemen, it is with deep regret that I share this tragic news. In a moment of reckless haste, I suffered a catastrophic grooming incident. Unbeknownst to me, my trimmer was set to 0mm and before I could react, the damage was done.

My beard… is gone.

I now bear the appearance of a stereotypical Linux user, and I am afraid to show my face to my loved ones.